There is another person with my name who registered a gmail account at my.name@gmail.com, whereas mine is myname@gmail.com. Gmail doesn’t recognize the “.” despite letting her register this after mine, which is annoying enough, but I also get a lot of her email, and have no way of letting her know this.

Over the years, I’ve tried replying to senders by letting them know they have the wrong person, and would they please let her know, but I still get her mail. It’s not like it’s her senile grandma confusing things; she registers for things with this address all the time. EVERY DAY. For awhile I worried that I couldn’t contact her about this, then I got annoyed, and now I’m just tired of it. So, I give to you:

 Things I Know About the Other Sarah Brown

• her father would like her to get a different job
• recently purchased a Dell laptop
• dropped out of La Leche League in Oregon
• joined match.com
• joined nerve.com
• her brother knows a lot of racist jokes
• scheduled a portrait session for her daughter
• won’t be making Zoe’s birthday party
• found some great stuff for Leslie’s bachelorette party
• applied for a scholarship at CUNY
• got a job at an Apple store in Georgia
• registered for a subscription porn site
• her friend Lisa thought she would appreciate this link to a Christian dieting site
• is flying to Tampa, FL April 4